


Broken Beyond Saving

by Annide



Series: Let Me Go [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Episode: s10e09 The Things We Left Behind, M/M, Mark of Cain, Suicidal Dean, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-02-28 23:51:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2751755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annide/pseuds/Annide
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Picks up after 10.9 The Things We Left Behind.</p><p>This is what happens after, once they're back at the bunker</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Beyond Saving

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for the season 10 mid-season finale. Literally follows the events of that episode and refers to some things so you might want to watch it first.
> 
> Also, a sequel of my first fanfic Poison. You don't necessarily need to read it to understand this one, just know it was also about Dean wanting to end his life and was set after 9.10 Roadtrip.
> 
> Title is a reference to Dean's speech in 10.7 Girls, Girls, Girls

                They were back to the same point they had been almost a year earlier. Except everything was way worse this time around. Dean didn't just believe he was poison based on the fact that everyone around him died. He was a killer now. And he couldn't shrug it off by blaming it on the black eyes, he wasn't a demon anymore. But the Mark of Cain still affected him. He could lose control at any moment now. He did just a few days before. When that man who assaulted Claire hit him with a bottle and Dean massacred everyone in the room. He was dangerous now.

                Once back at the bunker, after a long silent ride in the impala, Sam tried to reassure his brother, and himself, by promising they'd make getting rid of the Mark a priority. Dean simply yelled at him.

                "It can't come off, Sam! Just let it go. You're wasting your time. There's no saving me. How many times do I have to tell you before you finally get it?"

                Then he walked away. But just before he was out of sight, he turned around and his eyes shot right at Castiel's.

                "You coming?"

                Castiel exchanged a confused look with Sam. They'd thought Dean would want to be alone. When he started showing signs of impatience, however, the angel finally moved and followed him to his room. Dean locked the door behind them and turned to Castiel, a grave expression on his face.

                "Okay, Cas, do it."

                "Do what?"

                "Keep your promise."

                "What?"

                Castiel asked, squinting and turning his head to the side.

                "I asked you to off me if I ever went dark side again, remember?"

                "Dean..."

                "Do it. I can't live like this. I killed people, Cas, and it wasn't justified. I couldn't stop myself. I just got mad. I can't let this happen again and there's only one way to make sure of that. You have to kill me before I hurt anyone else."

                "No, Dean. I won't kill you, we'll find another way. We just need some time."

                "And what are you gonna do with me until you figure it out? Lock me up? Cause I can't be out there, Cas, I'm too dangerous. I know it, Sam knows it, and I'm sure you do too. So, what are you gonna do? Chain me up in our dungeon? You might never find a way to get rid of this thing. Will you keep me there forever?"

                "Dean, dying isn't a solution."

                "You have a better one? Cause I'd sure be happy to hear it!"

                "Dean, please, you are being unfair."

                "Am I? Cause I'm pretty sure I've become exactly the kind of monster Sammy and I hunt every week. But I know he won't gank me, so please, do it."

                "I can't, Dean, I love you. I could never hurt you."

                "This wouldn't hurt me. It's just taking my pain away and saving innocent people."

                "Dean, I won't do it."

                "Fine, then go, I'll do it myself."

                "I'm not going anywhere."

                "I told you to go, Cas."

                Dean took out an angel blade and pointed it at Cas.

                "I'll fight you if I have to, but you're either killing me yourself or leaving me alone to do it."

                "You are not dying tonight, Dean."

                "Oh yes I am. And you're not gonna be standing in my way again. I should've done this long ago. Think of all the lives that would've been saved if you'd just let me do it before. Think of all the pain that would've been avoided."

                Dean stepped forward. He was determined, nothing like the year before, more like years earlier when he'd wanted to let Michael use him as his vessel, except this time he wasn't tired of fighting. He was just scared to be the thing he'd sacrificed his entire life fighting against and he couldn't deal with that.

                "We'll fix it, Dean, I swear, we'll make it all better."

                "You can't fix it, Cas! This is the Mark of Cain, kind of a permanent thing."

                "Well, I'm not ready to say goodbye and I'll go to Lucifer himself if I have to, just because you don't deserve this and I won't let your story end like this."

                "Cas. Stop. It's over. I'm doing this."

                "I'm an angel, Dean. You can't win this battle."

                "I've fought angels before and I'm the one still alive to tell the tale, so I think I can take you."

                Castiel sighed. He put his arm forward, deftly avoided Dean's blow, touched the hunter's forehead and caught him as he fell asleep.

                "Oh Dean, I really hope we can find a way to make you feel better soon."

**Author's Note:**

> I had a demon!Dean related idea for this sequel, but didn't get time to write it and then the arc ended so I lost motivation for it, but after watching last night's episode, I felt like writing this and it felt fitting to make it Poison's sequel.


End file.
